Face-to-face conversation is seriously disrupted by social media and mobile devices. Recent studies have conclusively shown that mobile phone use (which is borderline addiction) has an impact on our quality of interactions.
We are unable to listen and maintain meaningful conversations because of our compulsive use of these devices. Even if the phone is in silent mode, studies have shown that it divides attention. Participants are less likely to start and share interesting conversations as they subconsciously expect the phone’s owner to demand their attention any minute. People often “skim” over the conversation topics rather than delve deeper into them.
The communication skills of children and teenagers who grew up in homes where screens were used to dominate family meals (televisions, tablets, and mobile phones) are clearly lacking. The children and young people have a difficult time interpreting non-verbal signals, they activate less mirror neurons, the cerebral basis for empathy, and are afraid to expose themselves to “real” or uncensored conversation.
The 21st Century is a time of cooperation and exchange.
Learn to converse
Any human, regardless of where they are born, is capable of speaking. Conversation is a natural skill for us. However, it can also be learned. It is important to learn the proper way to start a conversation, to keep a pleasant tone and to be assertive and empathetic when dealing with difficult situations.
Simply put, while language is a natural ability, conversation requires cultural acquisition.
Dime Berlin
Families play an important role in developing the conversational skills of children. Families provide us linguistic capital in the same way that they provide us a certain level of economic capital. Some people inherit houses, while others don’t.
The more fortunate child will inherit a sophisticated, multilingual, and broad vocabulary. The less fortunate one, on the other hand, may only have a limited, simple, or even non-existent vocabulary. It is the same with syntax. Some children are able to acquire more complex thinking through their early exposure to syntactic structures, whereas others only receive simple and disjointed constructions.
Our families give us the same amount of capital for conversation. It is not uncommon to see children engage adults in conversation, including those older than their parents. Others struggle to do so. Some children learn how to be respectful and wait their turn while others (and most adults) do not.
Idealistically, schools would level the field and allow children to experience richer linguistic models. They can then better express and recognise their feelings, emotions and disagreements. This process does not work always as expected.
Your conversational fingerprint
It is important to be educated in conversation and language for many different reasons. But it all boils down because the way you speak can have a big impact on how other people see you.
Conversations can define and shape who we are, as well as create and destroy personal and professional relationships. Sherry Turkle, a sociologist and metastudy author on conversations says: “The quality and quantity of our conversation is directly related to both our happiness and our professional and social success.”
Conversational Literacy: Why We Need It
The treatment of different human habits, such as breathing, eating and speaking, is strikingly unequal. We know little about how the human ability to articulately speak is so extraordinary. While nutrition has become an issue of public concern, there are many other things that we do not understand.
We are not all equipped to handle awkward conversations. Many of us struggle with engaging in dialogues with those who are not like ourselves. We also forget to pay attention to what others have to say, which is essential to fostering empathy and co-operation.
Conversational literacy is a public issue that must be addressed urgently. It helps us be more aware and reflective of the potential in everyday conversations. This also allows us to recognize when harmful conversation is taking place.
Fascinating things happen when we engage in a real-time conversation, with our bodies present and focused on the subject.
Firstly, people who are interacting with each other’s bodies synchronise. They adapt, imitate and coordinate unconsciously. It’s not only the bodies that synchronise, but also scans show brain synchronisation of those engaged in a conversation. More intense synchronisation is seen when the conversations are more in-depth and meaningful.
Start building your conversational literacy by having a family dinner without any mobiles or devices. Genuine conversation with the younger members of your family will help them to grow and develop both personally and professionally.
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